Why the focus on the negative?
What's the point of it? Isn't it more important to look at the positive?
It is my premise that negative patterns and feelings are often under-recognised, undervalued and underused as a source of potential information and power for us. We are naturally drawn towards feeling good and there's nothing wrong with that at all. However it's easy in doing that to distract ourselves from anything that feels uncomfortable or less pleasant. Over time we can become very skilled at denying, ignoring and suppressing feelings, 'twinges' or emotions which are actually there to help and guide us. Indeed over time we can become so good at it that we are unable to recognise and interpret the messages and guidance they seek to bring. Taken to an extreme this denial can lead actually to reduced effectiveness and a sense that something isn't right without being able to explain it.
So how exactly can these negative feelings be useful? What do you mean?
To be able to identify, secure and integrate the message or the need of the negative feeling or pattern is core to the process of full self awareness, confidence, empowerment and feeling centred and grounded in my view. Once you know these seemingly negative feelings or patterns have value to you, it changes how you see them. In fact, it's a one way journey in my experience. Once you know this, you can't 'unknow it'. You may not revisit the process of exploring the pattern for its purpose or message, but at some level you will know that opportunity is there. The way around it is through it and it's a one time learning with transformative consequences.
Ok.. but isn't this really for therapy?
It is this belief that can get in the way of people realising their full potential. It's true that in some circumstances tapping into negative feelings can elicit deeper blocks and challenges which are most amenable to a therapy approach. Indeed in some circumstances Jamibe will signpost clients and participants on for therapy-based work. However, in my view, the belief that coaching and training for performance should centre on positive feelings only and there is no place for hurt, indignation, boredom, annoyance and procrastination, for example, gets in the way, of being our whole, integrated, powerful selves.
